


Lilac Wine

by Interiorwinter



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angry Hotch, Drunk Spencer, First Fight, First Kiss, M/M, Oral Sex, Slow Burn, Song Lyrics, angsty fluff or fluffy angst, season three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-01 10:52:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18798892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interiorwinter/pseuds/Interiorwinter
Summary: Aaron has no recollection of leaving the bar, the cab ride to Spencer’s apartment, or anything else that might have taken place there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lilac Wine was written by James Shelton in 1950. It has been recorded by many artists, including Eartha Kit and Nina Simone but this piece is inspired by Jeff Buckley's version.

Chapter One: Aaron

_I lost myself on a cool damp night_

Aaron awoke, his head thumping, his mouth dry. He groped for the bedside table, trying to clear his vision enough to find his phone before realizing he wasn’t in his own bed. He groaned inwardly, feeling that sinking sensation of regret even before he actually remembered what it was he was regretting. He rolled onto his back and pressed his fingertips to his closed eyes, desperately trying to piece together the events of last night. The divorce papers had been served at the office, just as the team was preparing to go out for a rare after work drink. They spent so much time together when they were working a case that at other times they tried to separate their personal lives as much as possible, but last night they felt the need to relax together. Haley’s timing was either perfect or disastrous depending on how you looked at it. Right then, Aaron didn’t feel like he could look at anything. He needed coffee and aspirin before he could think about opening his eyes and working out whose bed he was occupying. He could hear a shower running, and it filled him with foreboding.

They had gone to a local bar and Aaron knew he should try to keep a check on his alcohol consumption but the hurt he felt at the finality of Haley’s decision to file for divorce cut him deeply. It had only been seven months since he had come home to an empty house, but he had to accept that there was no saving his marriage, not now. Which was probably why he was waking up in someone else’s bed, he thought ruefully. The idea of being unfaithful to his wife had never crossed his mind, and in the months since she had left him he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman. He tried again to recall who captured his attention to the point where he allowed himself to try to escape his pain through a tumble in the sheets, but still drew a blank. That couldn’t be a good thing he decided and felt the discomfort of his hangover slowly being overtaken by a creeping anxiety.

The sound of running water ceased and was replaced by another sound. It took Aaron’s scrambled brain a few seconds to process what the sound was and what it meant. The tuneful whistling coming from the bathroom turned his anxiousness into outright horror. As quickly as his hangover would let him Aaron ran his hands down his bare chest and felt some instant relief that he seemed to still be wearing his boxers. So not completely naked, but that didn’t necessarily mean a lot. The whistling from the bathroom stopped, and Aaron Hotchner opened his eyes, bracing himself to face whoever emerged. The look of confusion on Aaron’s face that greeted Spencer Reid as he stood framed in his bathroom’s doorway brought a grin to Spencer’s face. Spencer’s slight frame slouched with one shoulder against the door jamb as he watched Aaron’s reaction, toweling dry his unruly hair. Another towel was wrapped low around his hips, revealing his Apollo’s belt and a thin dewy line of hair that ran down from his navel and disappeared beneath the towel. Aaron was aware his eyes were following that line and he felt his pulse quicken, but he couldn’t look away.

“Morning Hotch” Spencer greeted him cheerily. Aaron’s eyes snapped shut again, the visual image of Spencer’s half naked form was far too much for him to process in his current state. “Reid” he managed to croak through parched lips. “What am I doing here?”

“Well right now I’d say you are feeling the unpleasant after effects of the copious amount of alcohol you poured down your throat last night” replied Spencer.

Aaron cracked open his eyelids just wide enough throw a withering glare at Spencer but the young man grinned unrepentantly.

 “How did I get here” Aaron asked, closing his eyes again and pressing one hand to his forehead.

“Rossi and I half carried you out of the bar and into a cab, Rossi wanted you to go to his place but you seemed adamant that you wanted to come home with me and it was easier than trying to argue with you. Which is kind of strange when you think about it…” Spencer raised one eyebrow quizzically, turning his statement into a question.

Aaron chose decidedly not to think about it. He contemplated trying to sit up but concern that his head might well explode made him reject the thought of any sudden movements.

“Coffee, aspirin, then more coffee” he said slowly. “Now, Reid” he added forcefully, as Spencer showed no inclination of changing his position in the doorway.

“Can I get dressed first, or would you prefer it if I stay like this?” Spencer asked.

“Prefer?” Aaron echoed hoarsely, as he felt his throat constrict and a pressing tightness in his chest, which he knew had nothing to do with last night’s drinking and everything to do with why he was in Spencer’s bed instead of on the couch in the living room.

  “I don’t care what you are, or aren’t, wearing Reid.” Aaron replied gruffly, trying desperately to cover his uneasiness.

Spencer stepped into the bedroom and moved across to the chest of drawers on the far side of the room, holding his towel carefully in place with one hand, his eyes firmly fixed on the furniture. He opened one of the drawers with the other hand and removed some underwear and a pair of light cotton sweatpants. He crossed back to the bathroom, determinedly not looking at Aaron as he went.  Aaron didn’t take his eyes from Spencer as the young man paused in the door way before finally turning to look over his shoulder at him.

 “Oh, I think you do care. At least you seemed to last night.” Before Aaron could reply Spencer entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Aaron slowly closed his eyes and tried to stop the sense of panic that was rising within him. He knew it was making his breathing shallower, and he could feel his head starting to spin. He concentrated on slowing his breathing, knowing that otherwise he might vomit, or pass out, or both. He had no recollection of leaving the bar, the cab ride to Spencer’s apartment, or anything else that might have taken place there.

 Aaron gave a low groan of distress. ’Not like this’ he thought. ‘Please God not like this.’  The first dream, a little over a month ago, he had dismissed as simply a craving for physical intimacy. There was no overarching narrative to the dream, or if there had been, he had lost the thread of it upon waking. All that remained was the vivid image of Spencer in his arms, their mouths hungrily devouring each other and the intensity of the emotions that accompanied that image, a mixture of desperate physical need and emotional longing. He had woken from the dream to find his pyjamas wet and sticky and he grinned. Just his luck, he mused to himself. Work intruded into the most intimate corners of his mind, both awake and asleep, so that now his subconscious couldn’t differentiate between people he worked with and people he wanted to fuck. He was slightly bemused by his sleeping mind’s choice for an erotic encounter, but he had to admit he felt a genuine affection for Reid and the boy was beautiful, in a geeky, androgynous way. Meeting his future wife while they were still in high school meant that he had honestly never contemplated having sex with anyone else, male or female. He’d had a close friend in college who was gay, but his relationship with Haley and his lack of curiosity about anyone else meant that he missed the usual experimentation that went with that age. It could have been worse he mused as he lay there trying to recapture the sense of intimacy the dream evoked, it could have been Rossi…

Aaron thought no more about the episode, until two weeks later when the dream re-appeared. This time however, he dreamt he was looking down at Spencer, whose arms were clasped behind Aaron’s neck and whose legs were wrapped around his waist. Spencer was looking deep into his eyes and Aaron could feel the lust washing over him as he gazed back. He knew his hips were thrusting against the back of Spencer’s thighs and Spencer’s body was moving in a rhythm with his own but he wasn’t aware of any actual physical sensation until he woke with an erection so hard it was painful. Aaron padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower, standing under the hot water and jerking off until in just minutes he came. He wasn’t quite ready to deal with the fact that it was still Spencer’s face he was seeing behind his closed eyes as his hand pumped his cock in the shower.

Since that second dream Aaron had found himself becoming more aware of Spencer’s physical presence in and around the office. He found himself watching Spencer when he thought no one else was looking, and he found his eyes drawn to specific parts of Spencer’s body. Aaron watched the way Spencer’s hands clasped around his knee when he was sitting back in his chair, his heel resting on the edge of the seat, his long fingers intertwined, strong and flexible from playing the piano. He watched the way Spencer stood, those same fingers gripping the angles of his hips, thrust slightly forward. His tall, slender frame seemingly vulnerable and at the same time strong and bendable like willow. Mostly though, he watched Spencer’s mouth. His lips were full, but not prominent. He smiled readily, charmingly, disarmingly even, his smile always reaching his eyes. He had a habit of biting his bottom lip when he was concentrating, which was often, and so it was always a little red, like a smear of arousal. There had been at least one occasion in the previous two weeks when Aaron had been so focused on Spencer’s mouth that he missed the words coming out of it, and Spencer had had to repeat his question. Aaron recalled the way Spencer looked at him as he asked Aaron again for what he needed. Aaron had shaken his head slightly to clear it of the image of Spencer’s mouth locked against his own. If he didn’t know better, he would almost have believed that Spencer had known what he was thinking.

Now, lying on his back in Spencer’s bed, Aaron could only assume the worst. He had gotten blind drunk, pressured Spencer into taking him home and then made sexual overtures to his subordinate colleague. Aaron groaned more loudly as the sequence of events slid into place. He still had no idea how successful his attempts were, and Spencer’s comments hadn’t given much away. He knew he should be feeling deeply ashamed, and it was true, he did feel a strong sense of regret, but it was more at the thought of having spent the night with Spencer and remembering none of it, than that he had done it at all. He ached with loss for something he couldn’t remember having, and in that moment knew he wanted it back. He had no idea who he was anymore but whatever part of him had been torn away by the end of his marriage he was glad. It was time to let go of the man he had been and find the man he wanted to become. Aaron heard the bathroom door open, but he kept his eyes firmly closed and it wasn’t until he heard Spencer leave the bedroom that he opened them again.

 

 


	2. Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer reflects on the first time he saw Aaron

Chapter Two: Spencer

_Gave myself in that misty light_

Walking purposefully towards his kitchen, Spencer reflected that it had been a long wait. He was wearing the cotton sweatpants but was shirtless.  As he started to prepare a pot of coffee he cast his mind back to when he had first joined the Bureau. He had been waiting to meet the others, picking nervously at his cuticles with his teeth when the sound of voices distracted him and through the glass wall of the conference room where he was standing he saw a tall, dark haired man in a charcoal suit striding down the corridor accompanied by another, older, shorter man. The tall man was speaking earnestly to the man hurrying to keep up with him, but as they passed his eyes lifted and he looked directly at Spencer through the glass for a moment before shifting his focus back to his companion. One look at that face and a heartbeat of longing so intense that it made Spencer gasp softly aloud pulsed through him. The sound of the men’s voices drifted away from him as they continued along the passageway, leaving Spencer Reid to close his eyes and make a wish. Once, just once, why couldn’t he work with someone who looked like that.

Spencer’s eyes flicked open at the sound of the door and he was greeted by two of the other agents assigned to work with him. Introductions were made and then the door opened a second time. Spencer looked up to see the tall man in the charcoal suit enter the room and move towards him. Spencer’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He was even more arresting up close, his almost black hair parted above his left eye and swept across his forehead, slightly longer than he would have expected for a senior Bureau agent. It made him look younger than he probably was, which Spencer guessed was around forty. The man had cheekbones that would cut glass, a jawline to match and Spencer found himself staring into eyes that were not only dark in colour, but also inked with a deep, intense determination. He was also an inch taller than Spencer, which given his own lanky six foot two inches didn’t go unappreciated.  “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner. Welcome Dr Reid, it’s good to meet you.” Spencer was surprised that Agent Hotchner didn’t attempt a handshake and for the first time in his life he felt he wanted his hand to be enclosed by another man’s.

From that first glimpse almost four years ago, Spencer had wanted Aaron, without considering the possibility that he could ever have him. It hadn’t bothered Spencer overly much, he was accustomed to living in his own head, and he was also cautious about getting involved with people. Despite his fierce intellect and physical attractiveness, or perhaps because of them, Spencer found it difficult to maintain long term involvements and the landscape of his relationships was dotted with brief but intense liaisons with long periods of solitude between. It was much simpler to just lock his desire for Aaron away and only examine it when he was alone in his head, in the quiet of his bedroom, where all he had to do was close his eyes to imagine Aaron lying naked beside him. It had been enough, until two weeks ago, when something had changed.

 Spencer had been shocked when his Unit Chief’s marriage had collapsed, and if he was truthful, a little unsettled. The fact that Aaron was so unavailable made it easy for him to keep his feelings contained, like a crush on a famous actor or musician, and meant that Spencer was able to work with his superior without anyone, especially him, having any inclination about Spencer’s real feelings for the man. Spencer felt rather than saw the way Aaron had begun to look at him. Aaron was a master of the intense stare. It had been responsible for breaking many a lie and many a liar apart, the way his eyes could hold a person until they felt like a bug being pierced by the entomologist’s pin. He was too practiced for Spencer to catch him staring, but Spencer knew there was something different about the way Aaron was looking at him. At first, Spencer was worried that he had done something wrong, and Aaron was watching him to try and catch him out or trip him up somehow. It had taken Spencer days to realize that Aaron was watching his body, not his behavior because he couldn’t conceive that such a thing would be possible.

Once he understood, he knew he had to be very careful. Whatever strange enchantment had overtaken Aaron Hotchner, Spencer was on dangerous ground. He loved his job, and he knew the rules around fraternization were strict, especially when it involved a power imbalance such as the one between himself and his Unit Chief. At the same time, Spencer had never wanted anything as much as he wanted to feel Aaron’s body against his. Just the thought of Aaron in his bed caused Spencer’s hand to tremble slightly as he searched the kitchen drawer for some aspirin. For a moment Spencer closed his eyes and gave himself to the vision of their bodies pressed together, lined in shadow and sweat, holding fast to one another and moaning as their mouths locked. His eyes snapped open, willing himself not to get hard. ‘Not yet’ he whispered. The thin cotton sweatpants that doubled as his sleepwear would do nothing to disguise his arousal and he didn’t want Aaron to see that. Not yet. He clutched the edge of the kitchen benchtop as he fought to still his breathing. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle the next twenty minutes, but he knew everything rested on his ability to keep control. Things had escalated faster than he was prepared for and he was sure he would only get once chance to get this right. Spencer set a tray with the coffeepot, two mugs, a bottle of aspirin, a glass of water and carefully carried it back to his bedroom.


	3. Aaron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron gets kissed.

Chapter Three: Aaron

_Was hypnotized by a strange delight_

Aaron had somehow managed to prop himself up against the pillows without his head separating from his neck by the time Spencer returned, but he felt that decapitation was possibly a better option than the conversation that was about to happen. The young man set the tray across Aaron’s thighs and then settled himself on the bed at the end of the older man’s feet. He handed Aaron the glass of water and picked up the bottle of aspirin, shaking two tablets into his palm before passing them across to the picture of misery that was SSA Aaron Hotchner. He accepted them wordlessly, before swallowing them and replacing the glass on the tray. Spencer then poured coffee into the two mugs and passed one to his boss. He picked up the tray, moved it to the top of the dresser, collected his own mug and returned to sit cross legged in his former position his eyes fixed on Aaron’s in a look of frank appraisal, but it was clear Spencer wasn’t going to initiate this discussion. Aaron took a deep breath and met those hazel eyes with his own.

“I’m sorry” he began.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” Spencer countered.

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever it was, it was inappropriate, unprofessional and probably unforgiveable. I’m sorry I made you bring me here, I’m sorry I acted … like I did” he finished uncertainly.

“Mmmmhmmm” Spencer replied unhelpfully, sipping cautiously at his coffee

“You need to stop being deliberately obtuse, or I might not stay sorry” Aaron shot back, the first sign he was starting to feel more like himself.

Spencer relented.

“Inappropriate? Probably. Unprofessional? Definitely. Unforgivable? Unlikely.”

“What happened last night Spencer?” Aaron asked quietly after a few moments.

“You kissed me.” Spencer answered matter-of-factly. “You grabbed me minutes after we walked in the door and tried to lick my tonsils. Not really very subtle Aaron.” 

Aaron could feel his body shudder slightly as the prickle of cold sweat spread across his skin. He knew he should ask what happened after that, but there was something he wanted to know more.

“Did you kiss me back?”

It wasn’t the question Spencer was expecting, and he deliberated a few moments before answering.  “No.” 

Aaron felt a thin squeak of disappointment and a faint echo of the loss that had earlier ghosted through him. Then Spencer leaned closer and slowly moved towards Aaron, carefully balancing his hand holding the coffee cup away from his body. Aaron had plenty of time to move away, hot coffee notwithstanding, but he didn’t. His eyes were fixed on Spencer’s mouth until they closed involuntarily and he felt Spencer’s lips brush his own in a kiss that was so light he could almost have imagined it. Aaron felt the muscles in his lower abdomen contract in a spasm and his breath hitched in his throat. Spencer leaned back and looked at Aaron, analyzing his reaction.

“But I wanted to, “ he added.

“And then?” Aaron asked much more calmly than he felt.

“Then I convinced you to strip down to your underwear, which by the way, didn’t take much doing. I told you to go wait in the bedroom for me, and again, you were more than happy to oblige. I said I’d join you shortly and then I waited until you passed out, about ten minutes later.  I slept on the couch, if you’re wondering.”

“I’m sorry” Aaron said again.

“Sorry for kissing me, or sorry I made you sleep alone?”

Aaron thought carefully, “Both.”

Spencer sighed and swung his legs around so that he was kneeling on the bed before settling back on his haunches. Still shirtless, Aaron watched as Spencer’s skin pulled across his chest and it took all his control not to reach out his hand and stroke his fingers down the slight concave hollow of Spencer’s breastbone and along the ridges of rib. It amazed him that he could see a man’s bare torso and feel the same need to touch as he would a woman’s breasts. There was something achingly beautiful in the lines and angles of Spencer’s body. No soft curves, but a stark geometry to the planes of skin and muscle that were just as appealing. He wondered what it would feel like to splay his hands on the smoothness of Spencer’s chest and slowly draw his fingers together trapping the younger man’s nipples between them. 

“You need to tell me what’s happening here Aaron, because I really don’t understand” Spencer said, watching Aaron intently and reading the arousal on the other man’s face.

“I’m not sure I know either. I’ve never wanted to sleep with other men.” 

Spencer bristled visibly. “I’m not ‘other men’ Aaron, and you may need to rethink that assumption, because last night you definitely wanted to sleep with me. I could tell” he stared meaningfully at Aaron’s groin and Aaron felt himself blush.

“I think maybe you still do” Spencer added speculatively. Aaron dropped his eyes and avoided looking at Spencer while he tried to collect the little bit of reason that was still hiding somewhere in his brain.

“I dreamt about you. I dreamt we were ... together.” Aaron saw a look of understanding cross Spencer’s face and didn’t elaborate further.

“How did that make you feel?”

“Honestly? It frightened me.” Not the first time, but after that...”

“You dreamt about me more than once?”

“Yes.”

“What were you afraid of Aaron, that your subconscious was fantasizing about sex with a man?” Aaron picked up the slight aggressive edge in Spencer’s voice.

“No. That’s not important. I’ve always thought that people’s sexuality is much more fluid than our present society seems to acknowledge.”

“Then what?”

Aaron avoided Spencer’s eyes as he debated how much he wanted to reveal. It wasn’t in his nature to lie but he struggled with emotions at the best of times and this was a long way from there. “I was frightened by how much I wanted you. The intensity. It’s not who I am. I can control my emotions, I’ve always been able to stop myself feeling too much. The thought of you...I can’t seem to shut it down... 

“Maybe you don’t have to” Spencer said gently.

“Why did you kiss me, just now?” 

“Because I didn’t last night and because I’ve wanted to for a long time”.

“So why,” Aaron paused, trying to muster some sense of understanding, “why last night, when I was... why didn’t you let me...” his brain groped for the right words.

“Fuck me?” Spencer finished for him

Aaron winced at his bluntness, but he nodded.

“Because Aaron Hotchner, the next time you wake up in my bed, it will be because there is nowhere else in the world that you want to be. You will remember every second of the night we spent together because every moment will be seared into your soul. I have no interest in taking you when you are desperate, drunken, heartbroken and lonely. But God help you when you’re not. Because then I’m coming for you.” Spencer hooked his finger under Aaron’s chin and lifted it until he was looking directly into his eyes.

“Do you understand?” Spencer demanded.

Aaron wondered who on earth this man was, and what had happened to the shy, slightly awkward colleague he was accustomed to. He stared into those hypnotic hazel eyes and felt a quiver of strange delight snake through his body at the thought of Spencer making good on his promise.

“I understand” he said, when he managed to form words again.

“Good.” Spencer said emphatically. He rose up and slid off the bed. “Then you’d better get dressed and go home. I’ll call you a cab.” Spencer left the room, taking the tray with the empty coffee things with him. Aaron got dressed as quickly as his still lingering hangover would let him, but he felt so much better than he had an hour ago. Spencer was waiting by the door when he emerged from the bedroom. “Cab will be here in 10 minutes” he said.

“I’ll wait downstairs” Aaron replied.

Spencer moved to stand in front of him and slid his hand to the back of Aaron’s neck, pulling him closer. The willowy figure pressed into Aaron’s body and he could feel the sharpness of Spencer’s hip against his own as he started to harden. Spencer’s mouth found his, his tongue gently probing the line of Aaron’s lips, and they parted immediately, allowing Spencer to slowly taste him. Seconds later, when Spencer pulled away, Aaron heard himself moan quietly.

“I’m coming for you Aaron.”

“Yes” was all Aaron could manage in reply before Spencer gently urged him out the door and he heard it close behind him.


	4. Spencer

_Under a lilac tree_

 On the whole, Spencer thought as he closed the door, that went better than expected. He moved back to his bed and slid into the lilac sheets fitting his body to the spot Aaron had recently vacated. There was the smell of maleness, sweat made bitter from alcohol, and something else, something unmistakably Aaron. Spencer smiled softly as he closed his eyes.


	5. Aaron

_I made wine from the lilac tree_  
_Put my heart in its recipe ___  
Aaron spent the weekend submerged in paperwork in a desperate attempt to stop himself from thinking about Saturday morning. Every time his thoughts drifted back to Spencer, to kissing Spencer, he started muttering aloud, trying to make a noise, any noise that might drive away the images in his head. At some point on Sunday afternoon he stopped trying to fight himself. Tomorrow he would see Spencer again, and he needed a plan.  
There was no point denying his yearning. It would be a lie, and Aaron hated lies. He let himself wrap the fabric of his desire around his body, to find how it fitted. It felt good. Acknowledging his want settled his restlessness and he relaxed into the need his body felt for another man. Not ‘another’ man he reminded himself; ‘this’ man. He didn’t want to fight it, he wanted to own it; to feel it swirl around and through him. Claiming it completely would give him the strength he needed to resist. Giving into his desire would be wrong. The Bureau said it was wrong. Aaron’s head told him it was wrong. He was terrible at giving himself to others, the wreck of his marriage proved that. Spencer deserved something, someone so much better than anything Aaron could give him. He knew what man he wanted to be, what man he had to be and although he knew it would hurt him, he opened his heart to it. It was a recipe for pain, but Aaron was no stranger to suffering. This time instead of waiting for it to find him, he moved to welcome it into his arms to take the place of the lover he would not allow himself to have.  
When Reid walked into the conference room the following morning and claimed the seat next to him Aaron was ready. Desire made his stomach lurch, but the only reaction he permitted himself was a slight tightening of his jaw. Spencer was wearing a lilac colored shirt with a deeper mauve tie and a grey knitted vest trimmed by a purple button band. He looked _lickable_ relaxed and Aaron wanted to _touch him_ keep a professional distance between _his thighs _them. He swallowed deliberately as the difficulty of keeping his mind focused nibbled at his control. Aaron was used to wearing his stoicism like armor and he needed it now. He cleared his throat and began the briefing.__


	6. Spencer

_It makes me see what I want to see and be what I want to be._

 They had arrived back in Virginia after a difficult but ultimately satisfying case.  Spencer was restless, the tingle of anticipation driving his nervous energy. For the previous ten days he had worked hard at keeping his interactions with his boss free from any hint of his real feelings, but now he indulged his excitement at what might lie ahead. Just as he had spent the last four years with his desire tightly chained, he had given his fantasy permission to exist and now there was no going back. While he carefully controlled himself when he was near Aaron he was also aware that his body betrayed him. The way his lips parted subconsciously and his breathing slowed when Aaron was speaking, the way his gaze lingered momentarily too long when Aaron’s suit coat pulled taut across his shoulders. Spencer felt every tug in the pit of his abdomen, and he knew he would have to do something about it soon or risk being so completely distracted by his need that he failed to keep it hidden. Working with a group of people trained to be hyper attuned to the behaviour of others made that a perilous situation.

What he hadn’t been prepared for was Aaron’s resistance. The looks that had been so unexpected but so welcome stopped. It was like Aaron had picked up the discarded chains of Spencer’s desire and wrapped himself in them. He knew his boss was deeply talented at repression but the implacableness of Aaron’s demeanor was surprising. He’d felt sure that the night Aaron had spent in his bed was a turning point, but now he felt plagued by uncertainty.

Which was why he found himself hovering in the doorway to Aaron’s office two weeks later, after the rest of the team had left for the evening. Hotch looked up from the paperwork spread haphazardly across his desk and sighed.

“What can I do for you Reid?”

Spencer raised his left eyebrow.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

Aaron scowled and kept his eyes focused on the myriad of files covering his desk. Spencer drifted into the office, closed and then locked the door behind him. He leant against the door and folded his arms, trying to measure what effect, if any, his presence had. Aaron finally lifted his eyes to meet his gaze and Spencer could read the effort the older man was making to remain detached. It occurred to him that Aaron was fighting against himself and then he understood.

“I see what you’re doing Aaron.” Spencer said quietly. “You don’t have to. You’re allowed to want this. You’re allowed to want me.” Aaron stood up from behind his desk but made no move to close the distance between himself and the younger man.

“I know Spencer. I’m letting myself _want_ this. I’m just not letting myself _have_ it.” Aaron’s dark eyes locked on Spencer and the younger man could see what it was costing him not to come any closer.

 Spencer sighed in exasperation.

“Why not?”

“It’s against the rules”

“I don’t care.” Spencer retorted.

“I do.”

“This is madness Aaron. It’s destructive. The rules are wrong.”

“The rules are there to protect us. To protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting from you.” His eyes flashed with annoyance.

“Maybe we both need protecting from each other.”

Spencer was all lithe grace as he closed the distance between the two of them and gripped Aaron’s chin in his hand. He hesitated for only a second, before crushing his mouth against Aaron’s. Unlike the last time, there was no tenderness or subtlety to the kiss and Spencer felt consumed by the white-hot need coursing through him. His tongue thrust greedily into the older man’s mouth as he wound his free arm around Aaron’s waist. Spencer could sense the other man’s surprise, but within moments of their lips meeting Aaron’s hands found Spencer’s hips and he dragged him closer as their bodies pressed together.

 Spencer moved his arm and slipped his hand between them, finding the hardness of Aaron’s erection and slowly stroking the length through the fabric of his suit. Aaron moaned into Spencer’s mouth and the young agent used his hand and his hips to maneuver Aaron until he was standing in front of his office chair, the back of his legs just barely touching the edge of the seat. Spencer placed both hands on Aaron’s shoulders and gently pressed down, bending over him so that Aaron could lower himself into the chair without breaking their kiss. His long fingers found Aaron’s belt buckle and deftly undid it before opening the button and tugging down the zipper.

Spencer straightened his body slowly, breaking the kiss and looking down at Aaron. He saw the undisguised desire on the other man’s face before he dropped to his knees between the older man’s legs and rested his hands on the front of Aaron’s pants.

“I want to see you Aaron. I want to touch you.”

“Yes” Aaron whispered, but loudly enough that there could be no mistake.

 Spencer slid his hand into Aaron’s underwear, lifting his hardness away from the fabric. He dipped his head and closed his mouth around Aaron’s cock, swiping his tongue across the sensitive glans and making Aaron gasp and rock forward in his chair. Spencer wanted to take his time and enjoy the feeling of finally getting Aaron into his mouth but the intensity of his need drove him. More than anything he wanted to make Aaron come. He wanted to be the one to tear those moans and gasps from Aaron’s throat. He wanted to watch when Aaron cried out in abandonment and flung back his head in release. Aaron was always so controlled and Spencer wanted to strip him of every last vestige of that restraint.

It seemed Aaron was no more able to contain his desperation than Spencer was, and he was bucking erratically, one hand gripping the arm of his office chair, the other wound in the thickness of Spencer’s hair. Spencer put his hands firmly on Aaron’s hips to reduce the force of his thrusts and continued to work Aaron’s cock until finally he felt the spasms on his tongue and his mouth was filled with the taste of smoky bitterness. Aaron gave a guttural cry as he came and Spencer saw the man he’d wanted so badly for so long give himself totally to the pleasure Spencer wrenched from him. It was the sexiest thing he had ever seen, and then Aaron placed his hand on the back of Spencer’s neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Aaron’s tongue explored and tasted, tentatively at first and then growing in confidence. He pulled away and stared into the swirly hazel of Spencer’s eyes.

“Is that what I taste like?” he asked in wonder.

Spencer smiled indulgently before he straightened up and perched himself on the edge of Aaron’s desk.

“You taste like everything I’ve ever wanted Aaron. You’re sweet, and passionate and protective and looking very, very confused right now.”

Aaron stood up slowly and re-arranged himself until he was dressed properly again. His fingers brushed against Spencer’s face, his thumb tracing the hollow under the young man’s cheekbone.

“I’m looking confused because I have no idea who you are. I thought I had some insight into the different personalities of all the people I work with, but you…you aren’t what I thought at all.”

“I am what I want to be.” Spencer answered.

“And what is that?”

“Yours.” And he moved to claim Aaron’s lips in another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing anything this explicit, so forgive any awkwardness, I'm still trying to work out what I'm doing.


	7. Aaron

_When I think more than I want to think_  
_Do things I never should do_

“You think too much Aaron. And you worry too much. You definitely worry too much.”  
Spencer was lying beside him in the large bed with lilac sheets, the same bed he’d first woken in weeks before. His lover was propped up on one elbow, his long fingers curled into the untamable lengths of his honey-hair, the soft mauve sheet draped across his waist leaving his torso bare. Spencer looked at him earnestly and with his free hand reached out to brush Aaron’s fringe from his forehead. His fingers trailed down the side of Aaron’s face before coming to rest gently at the base of his throat. Spencer’s thumb absently stroked the ridge of the older man’s collarbone.  
It had been this way whenever they were alone together, Spencer constantly stroking his skin, putting his hands on Aaron’s body at any opportunity. Touching, caressing, exploring, as if the younger man was trying to reassure himself that Aaron was really there. He found it intoxicating, Spencer’s touch was like a drug, and he knew he was addicted.  
“That’s kind of ironic coming from you Spence, you think all the time, even when you’re asleep.”  
Spencer smiled and Aaron felt his heart stutter. He looked so unspeakably beautiful in that moment; his hair rumpled, the smooth pale skin of his chest highlighting the dark honey coloured nipples, the hazel-flecked eyes that flashed desire and the slightly pouting lips that were begging to be kissed. Aaron felt Spencer’s fingers slowly trail from his collarbone down across his pectoral muscles and lower abdomen.  
“Do you know what I’m thinking now?” Spencer teased, fluttering his eyelashes in mock seduction.  
“I can make a pretty good guess.” Aaron managed to say before his breath caught in his throat when Spencer’s hand closed around his rapidly hardening cock.  
“Surely the renowned Aaron Hotchner can do better than just guess” Spencer’s thumb circled the head of Aaron’s erection, spreading the leaking moisture and causing him to shudder.  
“Spence” was all Aaron could muster in response.  
“I’m thinking that you need to think less and feel more.” In one graceful movement Spencer straddled Aaron’s thighs. He moved his hands so his palms pressed against Aaron’s side and his thumbs flicked across the hard little nubs on the older man’s chest. Aaron moaned and thrust his hips upwards as Spencer’s mouth owned his, their tongues shoving urgently against each other. Then Aaron couldn’t think any more and he let Spencer make him feel instead.

* * *

“What’s he doing?” Rossi asked in bewilderment.  
“He’s blocking our shot.” Hotch hissed in reply. The anger rolled from him in waves as he watched Spencer Reid confront Owen Savage. “I’ve a good mind to shoot him myself and save Savage the trouble,” Hotch grumbled. Rossi looked at him sympathetically.  
“Too much paperwork.”  
Hotch, Rossi and Morgan slunk around the large SUV attempting to get a fix on the boy in black, but Reid was aware of their movements and kept positioning his body to shield the boy from them, all the while talking quietly to Owen.  
When Savage put down his gun Morgan and Rossi rushed to assist but Hotch hung back, still glaring at Reid. He didn’t trust himself to speak to the younger man, and he knew that mixed with his fury was a dark knot of fear that was making it hard for him to control his breathing.  
Aaron should have realized that Reid wasn’t being completely forthcoming about Owen’s plans back at the farmhouse, but he wanted to spare _his lover_ the suffering of seeing another young man gunned down. Because he was thinking about Spencer, and not Special Agent Dr. Reid he had missed what was really going on, and that was unforgivable. But Reid had known, and that was unforgivable too.  
Aaron watched as Reid and Morgan escorted Owen Savage into the Sherriff’s Office. Rossi moved to stand by his side.  
“Don’t be too hard on the kid Aaron, he just wanted to do what was right”  
“He broke every rule we have. He knowingly jeopardized the team and the investigation. I should fire him.” Hotch seethed, hoping his anger at Reid’s breach of protocol would disguise the other reason he was so badly affected by what had just happened.  
“We both know you won’t. He deserves another chance. He’s young Aaron, and the young make mistakes. It’s up to us to help them learn from them.”  
Hotch sighed.  
“You’re right Dave, but it’s not only the young who make mistakes.”  
And Dave was left wondering about the note of bitter sadness in Hotch’s voice.  
Aaron delivered his warning to Reid on the jet on as they made the long flight back to Virginia, and Spencer’s mouth had trembled a little as he castigated the young man. As soon as they landed Aaron stalked to his car and drove off without a backwards glance.  
When the knock came at his door an hour later, Aaron was both expecting and dreading it.  
“It’s late Spencer,” he said as he opened the door. “This isn’t a great time to talk. Neither of us are at our best right now.” Spencer’s face was pale and there were violet shadows under his eyes.  
“I can’t sleep until we do talk about it, and I need to sleep.”  
Aaron moved aside and let him enter.  
Spencer stood in the small living room of Aaron’s apartment, his arms folded around himself as if to offer his slender body some small protection from Aaron’s wrath.  
“I’m sorry Aaron. Please don’t stay angry with me. I know I made things difficult for you today, but please, I need you to just, understand…”  
“I _understand_ you could have been killed today. I _understand_ that you had so little concern for your own life that you used your body to protect a killer. I also _understand_ what the thought of you lying bleeding on the dirt, your body riddled with bullets did to me. That wasn’t difficult Spencer, that was unforgivable.”  
“Aaron. That wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t think about hurting you. I needed to try. I needed to save that boy, because no one else would. He didn’t have to die.”  
“You have no right to take that kind of risk Spencer. I can’t do this,” he waved his hand indicating the two of them “if you are going to do that.”  
“It mattered to me” Spencer said firmly.  
“More than everything you’ve learnt at the bureau? Everything you mean to the team?  
“Yes” Spencer answered defiantly.  
“You were willing to risk dying, knowing that I would have to watch, because _it mattered to you_.” Aaron snapped at him “How could you do that to someone you care about? How could you do that to _me_?” Aaron knew he was letting fear and anger dictate his words but from the first time Spencer had kissed him he had lost any ability to rein in his emotions where this man was concerned.  
“Maybe you should ask yourself the same question. Every night you didn’t come home to your wife. Every birthday missed, or plans cancelled, every time you pulled on a vest, you were doing it because it mattered. Don’t you dare deny me the same choice.”  
“Get out” Aaron thundered.  
“Don’t do this Aaron. Don’t let what we have, what we’ve become, slip away just because I’m not good at following the rules. You matter to me too, you matter so much.” Spencer’s voice broke as he stumbled over the words.  
In two long strides Aaron crossed the room to the door and opened it wide. He stood silently glowering at Spencer until the young man walked hesitantly to the doorway.  
“Aaron please…” he whispered, before crossing the threshold.  
Aaron slammed the door shut after him.


	8. Spencer

 

_I drink much more that I ought to drink_

_Because it brings me back you..._

 

The way he saw it, he had a choice. The bottle or the needle.

He chose the bottle.  Aaron wasn’t worth the needle.

 

Spencer didn’t even know the name of the bar. It was open, and it was quiet, so it was perfect. It offered him anonymous numbness and for a few hours he sucked it in. Then his phone buzzed with an incoming message

 

**Reid where are you?**

**Reid are you OK?**

**Spencer I need to know if you’re OK**

**Spencer, I’m going to call Garcia and get her to GPS you if you don’t reply**

 

_Fuck off Aaron_

 

**I’m worried about you**

 

_Im worried about me too. But you don’t get to worry becsue youre a shit_

 

**Spencer are you drunk or high?**

_You don’t get to know that either_

**I’m sorry. I was angry**

_Yes. Now Im angry go away_

 

**Where are you? Are you safe?**

 

_Im wherever I went when you kicked me out and as long as you stay away from me Im safe_

 

**Spencer, let me come and get you**

_NO_

 

**Then let me call someone else to come and get you**

 

 _There is no one else. There’s only ever been you_.

 

Spencer placed his phone face down on the bar so he couldn’t see Aaron’s reply, but the phone began to ring and buzz. He flipped it quickly and pressed the decline call button. He knew he was crying but he didn’t care.  Moments later the next message appeared on the screen.

 

**ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE SPENCER OR I’LL SCRAMBLE A SWAT TEAM TO YOUR GPS LOCATION**

 

When the phone rang again Spencer picked it up. A part of him believed that Aaron would make good on his threat if he didn’t.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” he snuffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I know, but I need to talk to you, so just listen. I’m sorry Spencer. I’m sorry I was angry with you, I’m sorry I told you to leave. You hit a nerve when you reminded me of how often I put the job ahead of my family and I lashed out. It hurt because it was true, but I shouldn’t have let you provoke me like that.”

“I’m a very provocative type of person” Spencer muttered into the phone.

“You have no idea.” Aaron sighed. “Please Spence, just let me come get you, so I know you’re okay, and then tomorrow we can talk. You told me not to let what we have slip away, well right now I’m trying to hold onto it but you aren’t being very helpful.”

“Unhelpful Spencer. Unhelpfully provocative. Can I get a nametag that says that? Hold on a minute,” Spencer leaned across the bar and whispered conspiratorially to the bartender, “Do you know where I am?”

“Yes sir”

“Can you please tell the moron flavored pop tart on the other end of this phone so he can come and pick me up?”

“Certainly sir”

Spencer passed the phone across and waited until the bartender had given Aaron the information he needed.

“Spencer?’” Aaron said, once Spencer had his phone back.

“What?”

“I’m coming for you."

             *           *           *

 

 Spencer awoke and immediately wished he hadn’t. He was much less accustomed to drinking than his boss. He tried to assess what was causing him the most discomfort before realizing that the headache and nausea were almost a welcome diversion to the emotional bruising he felt.  He had slept in his contacts so his eyes felt gritty and sore but could focus enough to recognize that he was in Aaron’s bed. Aaron wasn’t beside him. When he felt able to stand he threw back the quilt and shifted his feet to the floor. His only article of clothing were his briefs, so he assumed Aaron had undressed him and put him to bed. He was a little fuzzy about the details, well a lot fuzzy really. Spencer stood experimentally and felt pleased with himself for managing to stay vertical. He tested his balance by shuffling slightly forward when the bedroom door opened quietly and Aaron’s face peered around the corner.

“I’ve made some breakfast and you look like you could do with coffee”

Spencer nodded before wincing at the sudden movement of his head. “And maybe some aspirin” he added. “Do you have a spare robe?”

“Behind the door in the bathroom. There’s something oddly familiar about this…” Aaron flashed an embarrassed smile and drifted away in search of medication.

Spencer retrieved the bathrobe and followed him to the kitchen where the smell of scrambled eggs and buttered toast made him simultaneously ravenous and queasy.

Aaron put a mug of coffee in front of him and the sugar bowl.

“Do you want to try and eat something?”

“I think I need the coffee first, then the aspirin. If everything stays where it’s supposed to I’ll try something solid after that.”

Aaron took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I was so afraid Spencer. So afraid that I was going to watch you die and not be able to save you. And then, as well as that, so afraid that I mean so little to you that you didn’t give a second thought to taking that kind of risk. That’s what made me angry. It had nothing to do with Bureau protocol or even the team. I was angry because from where I was standing it looked like you’d rather die than stay alive, with me.”

Spencer read the pain in Aaron’s voice, and felt it pierce his heart.

“Aaron that’s not what it was about. It was never…I can’t…” Spencer stopped and also took a steadying breath.

“When I stood in front of Owen Savage, for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about you.”

“I know that now Spence. You were thinking about you.”

“I wanted to make it different. For Owen, for me.”

“Promise me you won’t ever do anything like that again.” Aaron reached out and ran his thumb along Spencer’s cheekbone. The young man turned his head slightly so that his lips brushed the palm of Aaron’s hand.

“I promise. If I did, you’d probably shoot me yourself.”

“You have no idea how tempted I was”

Spencer’s eyes widened at the older man’s use of the past tense.

“Rossi reminded me that that the paperwork on friendly fire would be overwhelming”

Spencer grinned as Aaron pulled him into his arms, covering the smile with a kiss that spoke of relief and understanding.

“So”, Aaron ventured when he finally lifted his mouth from Spencer’s. “I’m a moron flavored pop tart am I?”

“You were yesterday. The flavor might have changed today”

“How can you tell?”

Spencer snuggled into the hollow of Aaron’s neck and flicked his tongue wickedly along the line of his clavicle.

“I guess I’ll have to lick you all over to find out”

Aaron quivered at the thought of Spencer’s tongue and what it could do to his body.

“Is this the end of our first fight?” Spencer inquired as his mouth continued to lick at Aaron’s shoulder.

“Yes” Aaron answered breathily as he gripped Spencer’s hipbones and pressed himself against the younger man. “And the beginning of our first make-up sex.”

“Next time,” Spencer’s voice was muffled as his lips worked their way down Aaron’s skin, “can we skip the fight and just go straight to this part.”

“Definitely” Aaron gasped, as his nipple was claimed by Spencer’s mouth. He grabbed Spencer around the waist and carried him back to bed.


	9. Aaron

Chapter 9 Aaron

_Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love_

_Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love_

_Listen to me... I cannot see clearly_

_Isn't that he coming to me nearly?_

 

It wasn’t like anything he’d ever known before. Aaron had always enjoyed sex, although towards the end of his marriage the opportunity on his part and the interest on his wife’s had been largely absent. He had never suspected he was capable of feeling what Spencer unleashed in him. Aaron knew his body was used to absorbing frequent bursts of adrenaline, it was part of his job, but nothing had prepared him for the cocktail of pleasure that Spencer ignited in him.

Just the awareness that the young man was in the room quickened his pulse and made his breathing alter. The sight of Spencer leaning on a table, his sleeves rolled to the elbow and his forearms braced supporting the rest of his supple frame as he absorbed the complex maps could make him hard. He’d had to turn his back on the young man several times to wrest back control of his body.

It was only a matter of time before someone else noticed. He wasn’t really surprised when David Rossi knocked on his open office door a few weeks after the Owen Savage case. He was holding two glasses and a bottle of Aaron’s favorite single malt and raised them questioningly before Aaron nodded, stood and moved towards his office couch.

“What are we celebrating” Aaron asked as Rossi put both glasses on the table and poured a generous measure in each.

“I assume we’re celebrating Aaron Hotchner getting laid, although he’s not been very forthcoming with details, so this is my attempt to prise some information from him. Cheers,” Rossi raised his glass and his eyes sparkled mischievously as he waited for Aaron to respond.

Aaron found himself blushing, and he grinned as his eyes met Rossi’s.

“Cheers!”

“Oh brother you got it bad. Tell me, does our young genius feel the same way about you?”

Aaron choked on the whiskey and it took several seconds for his eyes to stop watering and his throat to stop spluttering.

Rossi just grinned and waited for Aaron to compose himself.

“How long have you known?”

“I knew Spencer had a thing for you as soon as I joined the team. He’s good at hiding it, I don’t think the others have guessed, but as someone coming in from the outside it wasn’t hard to work out. If I had to guess I’d say his feelings go back well before you and Haley split up. Something changed a couple of months ago. I thought maybe you finally realized how he felt about you and decided to act on it. It was the only thing that explained why when you got plastered that night the papers were served you were so insistent on going home with him. I just figured it was because you were sleeping with him.”

“That’s when I found out how he felt about me. There hadn’t been anything before then.” Aaron stared into his glass, not sure how much he wanted to share with the older man.

“I hope he didn’t take advantage of your state of inebriation, because that would be…”

“No” Aaron interrupted quickly. “Quite the opposite in fact, apparently I tried to ‘lick his tonsils’, he wasn't safe until I passed out.”

Rossi laughed aloud.

 “I’d have paid money to see that.”

Aaron smiled wryly.

“It wasn’t one of my finest moments.”

“Well he obviously makes you happy. You’ve smiled more in last month than in the last 10 years.” Aaron sighed.

“At the moment it’s all very physical,”

Rossi’s eyebrows shot up so high they almost landed above his hairline.

“but…” Aaron continued “I don’t know what comes next. I’m in uncharted territory Dave. Even with Haley, it was never like this…”

“Listen to me Aaron. I saw what happened in Texas. I could feel how angry you were, and more importantly how afraid. If this was only about sex, you would have just been angry. Take it from a three marriage expert. You’re in love.”

Aaron looked intently at Rossi.

“Is he?”

“You’ll have to ask him yourself I think.”

Aaron drained his glass.

“I think I need another one.”

Dave reached across and took the glass from Aaron’s hand.

“I think you need to go somewhere and ask someone something. Tell them something too.”

“I don’t think I’m ready”

“And next time there’s a Texas, except this time things don’t turn out well, is that going to be enough?”

“He promised there won’t be a next time.”

“Aaron, in this job, there’s always a next time. And Reid, well, he’s a lot like you. He likes saving people. It’s time you both had a go at saving each other.”

Aaron stood and held out a hand to Rossi who grasped it in both of his.

“Thanks Dave”

“Go get him Tiger.”

 Aaron threw back his head and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter to go, thanks so much to everyone who has left kudos and kind comments, it's been so much fun trying this.


	10. Spencer and Aaron

Chapter 10 Spencer and Aaron

 

_Lilac wine is sweet and heady where's my love?_

_Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, where's my love?_

_Listen to me, why is everything so hazy?_

_Isn't that he, or am I just going crazy, dear?_

_Lilac Wine, I feel unready for my love..._

 

 

Spencer opened the door and stood aside to let Aaron enter.  

“I guess we should talk about getting you a key cut, if you want one that is, I don’t want you to…”

Before he could finish speaking Aaron had drawn him into his arms and was kissing him with an aching sweetness that pulled a fluttery thread through his body.

“Hi there yourself” Spencer murmured when Aaron’s lips finally released his. Aaron didn’t reply but pressed his mouth against the pulse beating at the base of Spencer’s throat.

Spencer felt his legs go weak with want, but Aaron’s strong arms held him upright as he continued to pull softly at Spencer’s skin, sucking it slowly into his mouth and then holding on gently with his teeth, until Spencer was moaning softly and rubbing himself against Aaron’s hip.

It occurred to Spencer that this was the first time Aaron had been so demanding since that first night in his apartment and it was something he could get used to.

Aaron pushed him back until he was leaning against the wall before letting go and gradually unbuttoning Spencer’s shirt. His mouth kept up the assault on Spencer’s neck and when all the buttons had been unfastened he gripped Spencer’s right hip tightly and lowered his mouth to catch the hard nub of Spencer’s nipple, sucking more forcefully now and catching it between his teeth while his fingers tweaked the other. Spencer’s shoulders jerked back as his spine arched towards the hot urgency of Aaron’s mouth.

“Aaron…please…” he begged and in response to his plea Aaron straightened and pressed his lips against the hollow under Spencer’s jaw while he thrust his thigh between his legs. It felt to Spencer like the only thing in the universe anchoring him in time and space. He could hear himself gasping as he rocked forward, needing the firmness of taut muscle against the hardness in his groin.

Aaron silenced the gasps with his mouth as his fingers worked on the fastenings of Spencer’s cords. Kisses dripped from Spencer’s chin to his navel as Aaron slowly dropped to his knees and pulled Spencer’s pants and underwear down to his ankles before carefully freeing each foot.

Still kneeling, Aaron gripped Spencer’s hip firmly with one hand and used the other to wrap around his lover’s cock, guiding the fullness of his erection into his mouth as he coated as much as he could with his saliva. Then he licked slowly from the base of the shaft to the tip and explored the taste as his tongue glided across the head, catching the leaking moisture.

Spencer groaned loudly as his body tried to arc into the intensity of Aaron’s mouth but he was held firmly in place as Aaron moved his hand to pin his other hip against the wall.

 Despite his lack of practical experience, Aaron found a rhythm and soon the ragged breathing and needy sounds coming from Spencer demonstrated that he was a fast learner.

“Aaron…God I can’t…hold…Aaron,” but the older man continued to alternate between long slow sucks and releases until Spencer let loose a rasping cry from deep within his throat and Aaron felt his mouth fill with the taste of Spencer’s come. He continued swallowing and licking until Spencer whimpered softly and then Aaron stood up and pressed his body against the length of Spencer’s, registering the slight tremors that still rolled through the young man’s frame. Spencer gripped Aaron’s jaw and maneuvered it until their mouths met in a languid kiss and then he wrapped his arms around the back of Aaron’s neck.  Aaron felt Spencer’s tongue part his lips and chase the flavor of his release before sighing deeply and resting his forehead against Aaron’s temple.

“Spencer” Aaron whispered softly.

“Hmmph” Spencer exhaled.

“I know you said I think too much, but I think I love you.”

“That’s good” Spencer murmured. “Because I think I love you too, and if I could move I’d take you to bed and show you just how much.”

“Maybe I can help.” Aaron shifted his weight so that Spencer could lean into him and then wrapped his arms around the back of Spencer’s thighs so he could lift his legs until they enfolded Aaron’s hips. Then he carried his love to bed.

 

Epilogue

 Aaron

 

Aaron watched Spencer stir slowly from sleep and was once again struck by the allure the young man held for him.  The tenderness he felt when Spencer caught his glance and smiled back at his lover made him ache with a fullness he had never hoped to find again.

“Aaron.” It was as much a breath as a sound, the way Spencer exhaled his name made Aaron’s blood smoke in his veins.

“What is it love?”

“What flavor am I?”

Aaron laughed and gazed longingly at the beautiful man wrapped in the tussle of lavender sheets, before burying his fingers in the rumpled hair and kissing him softly.

“You taste like lilac wine, sweet and heady”

Spencer grinned wickedly.

“I like the heady part,” he said as he began to trail kisses down Aaron’s chest and lift the sheet that covered his hips.

“In fact I think that might well be my favorite.”


End file.
